When you’ve had a truly bad date, it can be hard not to feel fed-up. But don’t give up; dating expert Charly Lester shares her top tips for making the best of even the very worst dates.
Whether you’re trying online dating for the first time or you’ve been single for a while, you know, deep down, that it would be unrealistic to expect to meet the love of your life straightaway. So, you date. But inevitably, you’ll soon encounter the kind of bad date that could put you off the entire process. How do you recover and find the will to go on? Here’s what you need to do…
1. Remember it’s not you
The first thing to keep in mind is that the bad date isn’t your fault. There are millions of single men and women out there and you won’t feel that spark with all of them. So unless the date was bad because you were rude or did something inappropriate, never react by blaming yourself.
2. Why was it so bad?
Once you’ve stopped blaming yourself, it’s worth taking time to work out why the date was so bad, so that you can learn for next time. Was the conversation stale? Did you hate the venue? Did your date make you feel uncomfortable? Was there no chemistry or did you just not fancy them?
3. Take lessons from it
When you know why the date was bad, you can apply those lessons to your next date. Maybe there’s a particular personality trait that you now know you want to avoid, or a bar that you never want to go back to. It might even be that you want to try a more active date next time to help you feel more comfortable.
4. Shake it off!
Take cues from Taylor Swift and just shake it off! Dating can be tough and you can get swept up in it all. Try to keep perspective. It was just a first date, just a few hours of your life. If you’re still feeling hung up on it a week later, try to imagine your life in a year’s time – will you even be able to remember your date’s name by then?!
5. Get back out there
The worst thing you can do after a bad date is to give up on dating. The best way to get over it is to replace that bad date with a good one! Ideally, you should try and get back out there as soon as possible. That way you’ll have less time to dwell on it and the bad date will quickly become insignificant. Log back on and keep dating.
6. Change things up
Don’t get trapped in a cycle of repeating the same date over and over again, swapping different people in and out of the same scenario. Not only will you quickly get bored, but you’ll end up comparing every date to each other, rather than just focusing on getting to know the person in front of you. It’s especially important to try a change of scenery if your last date didn’t go so well.
7. Don’t talk about it
When you’ve had a bad date, often the first thing that you’ll do is reach for your phone to call your friend and dissect it. That’s fine, but the one thing that you shouldn’t do is discuss bad dates while on a date. You don’t want them to get the wrong idea and you should really be focused on enjoying the date you’re on, rather than spoiling it by talking about other people and negative experiences.